Journal — the struggle RSS



Dear Heart No. 1

Dear heart - I will get right to the point because it’s late here, and because you have your work to do there. I want you to know that whenever you feel that you “won’t make it” or when you feel you’re “losing traction, or failing to make traction” in what you desire so badly. Take heart. Lay your antlers down and rest. Leave your devices in the other room, and be still as you look out at your world that is all around you. I wrote those words to myself as a reminder that I don’t have to go full bore. It seems I have a certain amount of mental and physical energy each day, and pushing myself when...

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When You Don't Feel Like Creating, Part 1

Wouldn't it be nice to be in the mood more often? Take that however you like. :) But seriously, being in the mood to make stuff just makes it a lot easier. Almost all my favorite songs came on fast and hard. There've been times I've had to pull off the road just to get a voice memo into my phone so I can keep track of a melodic idea or lyric.  I've experienced a similar scenario with making art. Seems my best paintings were made when I was on fire to make them.  Of course showing up when I don't feel particularly inspired is good for my practice, too. Practicing the craft is important. It builds my technique and keeps...

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Living In The In Between

I am as if in my mother's womb again, rustling around, restless, pushing with my hands and feet at the constraints around me. Wanting out! But wait, I'm not ready, I want to stay in here. It's confining, but it's also warm and cozy and I like the gurgling sounds in my ears.  So it is with most everything I set my hand or mind to these days. Longing to bust out and break free of tethers that I think are constraining me in some way, holding me back and not letting me be. "Be what?" I ask myself. And 'round I go with this back and forth dance of wills. I'm not as bothered by it as I used...

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